Mr. March

Background
So, Mr. March lives in Frederick so we decided to meet at P.F. Changs in Columbia since that's about midway between us.  I think I was more excited for P.F. Changs than I was to meet Mr. March- that should have been the first sign! He made a reservation for 2 o'clock so we met there about then. He's super tall compared to me (6'2") and he was attractive but not in the super hot sense... he's not bad looking. He's 43 years old, never been married, no kids.  

All the Red Flags
It didn't take long into the conversation for me to be turned off. When we sat down, he asked what I did the night before. I told him "Not much. I rented a couple red box movies and chilled at home." I asked what he did and he informed me that he had a friend over (I'm not sure male or female- I didn't ask) and they were up late talking. I asked what were you talking about that had you up so late.  He said he was talking about philosophical things, like the meaning of life and the universe and what not. B-O-R-I-N-G!!! He also mentioned his sister a couple of times and said that she married a French Dutchman who owns a couple vineyards.  I asked how old his sister is and she's a couple years younger than him. I then asked if they are close and he says "Well, not really anymore."  I was expecting him to say because she lives in France so there's not much time to visit but no he then tells me that she died 4 years ago. Hmmm... ok, weirdo! Why are you talking about her in present tense and that's a strange way to come out with that information! He also mentioned several different friends and all of them were females. I was going to ask him if he had any male friends and why so many female friends but I didn't care that much since I knew this was not a match made in heaven! This is a big red flag for me and this is why.... I have a handful of close female friends but as a whole females are dramatic and hormonal! So what makes Mr. March feel more connected to females than to males? Perhaps he hasn't come to the realization that he sleeps under a rainbow if you catch my drift!  I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, to each their own but be who you are and not hide from reality! He mentioned that if he ever gets married he wants the whole family, kids deal and he feels like he is ready for kids because he has a puppy and he's very protective over him like a father to a son.  I love my Molly Doo a large amount but I don't compare her to a human child.... she's a DOG! I know there are people out there that treat their dogs like kids but those are usually of the female gender... again, strange to hear a guy talk like this. Not the kind of guy I would be into anyway. I like the fact that he has a dog because that shows he is responsible and not afraid of responsibility but to compare the dog to a kid, kinda creepy! Oh, a song just popped into my head "If happy little blue birds fly, beyond the rainbow.... why, oh why....  can't I?"

The End
He paid for the date, which was AWESOME! Free P.F. Changs is always a good thing! I figured he wasn't feeling the connection either and I probably wouldn't hear from him after we went to our individual cars. I asked if he wanted to walk to Starbucks to grab a coffee before we left and he said sure. I bought the coffee since he bought dinner. He seemed shocked by the fact I was offering to do this.  After we got our coffee, he walked me to my car, said hi to Molly who, of course, was sitting in the car, and then he left.  No hug. No "I'll talk to you/call you later." Just a thanks and it was nice meeting you. It's been 6 days and just as expected I haven't heard from him which is just as well. We didn't have much in common and he seems to have enough female friends to help him through his questions of life's existence. On to Mr. April!!!! 

Mr. February

So I met with Mr. February, Joe,  this past Sunday. However, I knew it was doomed from the planning of the meeting place. I asked him Saturday where he wanted to meet. I assumed he was going to pick somewhere in Waugh Chapel Center since he has seen the place but never had the time to explore it. I also shared with him some places that would be good meeting places about a week before. Well, wasn't I surprised when he suggested meeting at Chic-Fil-A! Well, I love me some Chic-Fil-A but as a date? I pointed out to him that they aren't open on Sundays. He replied with "Oh yeah" and then came up with the next best option. "What is that?" you might be wondering! Well, he then suggested Burger King!!! Really? Ok, so now I'm totally turned off and not wanting to meet at all. I then suggested, Greene Turtle, Panera, Bone Fish, Applebee's, Italian Market. He picks Applebee's, my least favorite out of the bunch, which I figured he would because it's the cheapest and closest to Burger King I suppose! I then told him that perhaps we should just meet at Starbucks an hour sooner so we did.

Top teeth: check, Bottom teeth: crooked but at least he had them all since I failed to do a preliminary pic shot of both sets of chompers. Yes, I make them take a pic of teeth and send to me prior to meeting, typically. He was coming from Brooklyn Park, that could have been a disaster, but seeing as though it was March 3rd and he was Mr. The Month Before, I just wanted to get the date over with so I could move on to hopefully better spring propspects. These winter dudes are winter duds!

 

So he shows up in some sort of hoodie jacket thing and for the love of all that is good, he should have kept that damn thing on because underneath was something no human should be caught wearing! A flame shirt! Now, some guys can pull this shirt off, a very select few of the male population mind you can pull this off! Many examples of the male population residing in Glen Burnie or Pasadena or Brooklyn Park have a shirt similar to this and think that it ROCKS, however, it takes a certain person to actually ROCK it well! Mr. February is not that guy! I was hoping he would get cold and put his hoodie thing back on! It takes a lot to embarrass me. He succeeded. 

After I got tea and he got his hot chocolate, we talked for a bit. I did what any girl would do on a first date and acted like I was interested in hearing about his job as a Roll Off Truck Driver. YAWN! He asked if I wanted to go to Chipotle's for lunch. I was THINKING "um, you think this is going to last until lunch time?" but what I SAID was "I'm meeting a friend at the mall for lunch later and I just ate breakfast" which was the actual truth.  He suggested we walk around the Town Center (thank god, he had to put that hoodie thing back on!) and I mentioned it was a bit cold out-freezing is more like it and that's coming from me! He said we can drive. Hmmm.... drive around a parking lot, FUN! NOT! I said "let's walk!" So I froze and we walked and I froze some more. Anything to make time pass so I could be anywhere else but there! 

After about 10 minutes of popsicle walking, he asked "So, am I going with you?" I replied "Going with me where? To lunch with my friend and I?" To which he replied , "yeah."  I then said, perhaps too quickly, "I didn't think so and hadn't planned on that."  "Oh, ok." Really? REally? REALLY? Yup! I was sooo done and checked out by then! There was no way this dude was seeing date 2.  Oh, not to mention he smelled like a corpse wearing Axe. Cheap cologne over top  body wash is never good!

We said our good-byes and I met a friend at the mall, whom I proceeded to tell about the date ASAP of course. She suggested we meet at Burger King for lunch, which was very funny of her! :) He texted me and asked what I thought and if I'd like a second date. I didn't reply right away because my momma always said "If you don't have something nice to say..." I pondered on a response for a bit and before I could reply, he sent me another text saying he enjoyed my company (I mean who wouldn't? LOL. I was SOOO into his boring A$$ job!) and he would like to see me again. To which I then replied something like, you smell like a dead body, wearing a retarded flame shirt, made me freeze walking around aimlessly because I'll be damned before I get into a car with you, came up with fast food as a good date and then made me pay for my own coffee on top of it all. Hell NO to a second date. Oh wait! I didn't say that, but I was thinking it! I really said, "To be honest, I just didn't think we clicked."  I did however tell him that girls don't like to be taken to fast food joints for a date. He told me he was thinking of me and knew I was on a tight budget. I then explained, if I couldn't afford a meal at any of the places I suggested then I wouldn't have suggested them! He then got bitchy with me because I got a pedicure done the day before (courtesy of mom's b-day present to me) and he didn't think I should have gotten one if I was on a budget. I told him it was none of his business what I spend my money on since he couldn't even buy me a tea! Anyway, needless to say, but I'm saying it anyway, NO second date for Mr. February! ***Why is "needless to say" even a phrase because it's always followed by whatever needn't be said!***