Mr. February

So I met with Mr. February, Joe,  this past Sunday. However, I knew it was doomed from the planning of the meeting place. I asked him Saturday where he wanted to meet. I assumed he was going to pick somewhere in Waugh Chapel Center since he has seen the place but never had the time to explore it. I also shared with him some places that would be good meeting places about a week before. Well, wasn't I surprised when he suggested meeting at Chic-Fil-A! Well, I love me some Chic-Fil-A but as a date? I pointed out to him that they aren't open on Sundays. He replied with "Oh yeah" and then came up with the next best option. "What is that?" you might be wondering! Well, he then suggested Burger King!!! Really? Ok, so now I'm totally turned off and not wanting to meet at all. I then suggested, Greene Turtle, Panera, Bone Fish, Applebee's, Italian Market. He picks Applebee's, my least favorite out of the bunch, which I figured he would because it's the cheapest and closest to Burger King I suppose! I then told him that perhaps we should just meet at Starbucks an hour sooner so we did.

Top teeth: check, Bottom teeth: crooked but at least he had them all since I failed to do a preliminary pic shot of both sets of chompers. Yes, I make them take a pic of teeth and send to me prior to meeting, typically. He was coming from Brooklyn Park, that could have been a disaster, but seeing as though it was March 3rd and he was Mr. The Month Before, I just wanted to get the date over with so I could move on to hopefully better spring propspects. These winter dudes are winter duds!

 

So he shows up in some sort of hoodie jacket thing and for the love of all that is good, he should have kept that damn thing on because underneath was something no human should be caught wearing! A flame shirt! Now, some guys can pull this shirt off, a very select few of the male population mind you can pull this off! Many examples of the male population residing in Glen Burnie or Pasadena or Brooklyn Park have a shirt similar to this and think that it ROCKS, however, it takes a certain person to actually ROCK it well! Mr. February is not that guy! I was hoping he would get cold and put his hoodie thing back on! It takes a lot to embarrass me. He succeeded. 

After I got tea and he got his hot chocolate, we talked for a bit. I did what any girl would do on a first date and acted like I was interested in hearing about his job as a Roll Off Truck Driver. YAWN! He asked if I wanted to go to Chipotle's for lunch. I was THINKING "um, you think this is going to last until lunch time?" but what I SAID was "I'm meeting a friend at the mall for lunch later and I just ate breakfast" which was the actual truth.  He suggested we walk around the Town Center (thank god, he had to put that hoodie thing back on!) and I mentioned it was a bit cold out-freezing is more like it and that's coming from me! He said we can drive. Hmmm.... drive around a parking lot, FUN! NOT! I said "let's walk!" So I froze and we walked and I froze some more. Anything to make time pass so I could be anywhere else but there! 

After about 10 minutes of popsicle walking, he asked "So, am I going with you?" I replied "Going with me where? To lunch with my friend and I?" To which he replied , "yeah."  I then said, perhaps too quickly, "I didn't think so and hadn't planned on that."  "Oh, ok." Really? REally? REALLY? Yup! I was sooo done and checked out by then! There was no way this dude was seeing date 2.  Oh, not to mention he smelled like a corpse wearing Axe. Cheap cologne over top  body wash is never good!

We said our good-byes and I met a friend at the mall, whom I proceeded to tell about the date ASAP of course. She suggested we meet at Burger King for lunch, which was very funny of her! :) He texted me and asked what I thought and if I'd like a second date. I didn't reply right away because my momma always said "If you don't have something nice to say..." I pondered on a response for a bit and before I could reply, he sent me another text saying he enjoyed my company (I mean who wouldn't? LOL. I was SOOO into his boring A$$ job!) and he would like to see me again. To which I then replied something like, you smell like a dead body, wearing a retarded flame shirt, made me freeze walking around aimlessly because I'll be damned before I get into a car with you, came up with fast food as a good date and then made me pay for my own coffee on top of it all. Hell NO to a second date. Oh wait! I didn't say that, but I was thinking it! I really said, "To be honest, I just didn't think we clicked."  I did however tell him that girls don't like to be taken to fast food joints for a date. He told me he was thinking of me and knew I was on a tight budget. I then explained, if I couldn't afford a meal at any of the places I suggested then I wouldn't have suggested them! He then got bitchy with me because I got a pedicure done the day before (courtesy of mom's b-day present to me) and he didn't think I should have gotten one if I was on a budget. I told him it was none of his business what I spend my money on since he couldn't even buy me a tea! Anyway, needless to say, but I'm saying it anyway, NO second date for Mr. February! ***Why is "needless to say" even a phrase because it's always followed by whatever needn't be said!***